When I think about what disturbing things there are on the internet (not like I do that a lot or anything), the things that normally come to mind are the child porn, the rape and other police photos, neo-nazi hate sites, insane camgirls, and bad poetry.

What I do not usually think about are crazy advertisements for copying organs and brain transplants, complete with a spooky skinless head that talks with a computer voice. This would be the general concept of OrganFarm Assurance, which seems to be a spoof site, or else something entirely horrible and wrong. Click on the main image to get the popup with the talking head. But click the "FAQs" link for the real insanity.

Today is my last day at my summer job of building websites for old people (five nursing homes, five sites). It's been fun, I guess, but mostly irritating.

The fun part has got to be that I finally had an opportunity to work with a professional art guy to do graphics for me. Sure, I can make the occasional calligraphic stroke in Illustrator or a drop shadow in Photoshop, but he made everything go very quickly for me. When he didn't have to do other work, that is. He is basically the only person in this nursing home management company that does art, which means that he designs every ad, calendar, poster, etc. Plus, he does freelance work after hours. But he definitely made time for me, and the sites benefitted in the form of 3D spheres and squiggly lines.

The not so fun part was the working. My boss was really annoying. And I don't mean: "oh, he made me do so much work!" Far from it. It's more like: "oh, he was never around, so it completely bottlenecked my operations!" Or: "he has such bad taste in design and poor understanding of the web that he insisted on music playing on the sites!" Good lordy, what is the matter with this man? He also wanted me to Flash out one site so that the seasons would change in one of the pictures. These are sites for nursing homes! Not really suited for the works multimedia treatment. I just don't understand the tastes of some people. Anyway, I'll be continuing the work from school, as the sites have no content yet. Totally done structurally and graphically, but I have yet to be provided with copy to paste in.

Whatever... at least this'll give me extra money to blow on my new GameCube. My friend Dan upped my Best Buy gift certs to an even $200, so I went out on Monday and got a black one, with a Memory Card 251, and the amazing Super Smash Brothers Melee. I haven't unlocked all of the characters yet, but I'm getting there. Damn you, Mr. Game & Watch, why are you so far away?!?

Add a new chapter to the Christine saga part of my life. Last Friday night, she treated me to tea at Starbucks, and then we went back to my house. Bow-chica-waa-waa! Um, no. But we did watch a French movie, which, as everyone knows, is the next best thing. It was Time Regained (or Le Temps Retrouvé) from 1999, based on the surreal time-jumping Marcel Proust novel/autobiography. It was long and pretentious, as French films generally are (mais, pas Amélie), but it was pretty good. We were hoping John Malkovich would have a laughable French accent, but he was either very good or very dubbed... not sure which. Anyway, she left after the movie, but it was fun. Yippee!

So, evidently my use of the abbreviation SMG for Sarah Michelle Gellar makes me a "loser fan-boy." I would like to make it clear that I'm not a Sarah Michelle Gellar fan-boy, nor a Buffy fan-boy for that matter. So-called fan-boys have seen every episode, and can recall quotes, family trees, and useless trivia effortlessly off the top of their heads. I have not seen every episode of Buffy, though I'm almost there (halfway through season 5). And any trivia or whatnot I can remember is due to the fact that I've watched so many of the episodes very recently... if I remember a quote, it is probably because I just heard it last week. So, while I would admit that I've been "addicted" to Buffy recently, as I sprint through the episodes of it and Angel in order to catch up before the start of the coming season, I would contend that my status as a Buffy viewer is more along the lines of "Buffy fan."

As for the Sarah Michelle Gellar abbreviation: I'd seen it so many times online that I figured it had come into common usage, and it's easier to type than "Sarah Michelle Gellar." My apologies to anyone who misunderstood. From now on, I promise that everytime I'm typing about Sarah Michelle Gellar, I will actually type "Sarah Michelle Gellar" and not any abbreviation for Sarah Michelle Gellar, as this might confuse those people reading about Sarah Michelle Gellar and my comments about Sarah Michelle Gellar as to the nature of my Sarah Michelle Gellar fan-ness concerning one Sarah Michelle Gellar. To conclude: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Michelle Gellar. And, yes, I did all that without copy and paste.

So, my parents decided to get me the watch anyway. On top of the pen. Even though I asked them not to. I mean, I could understand buying something expensive that I really had my heart set on. Like the Mont Blanc, for instance.

It's not like I don't like the watch. I do. It's not like I'm not going to end up wearing it everyday, safe in the knowledge that it will only stop going if I stop moving. I will. I haven't yet, because it needs a link out, but I will.

I don't know. It doesn't feel good to get a gift like this. It feels... off. It just seems to be excessive for the point of excessiveness. I've tried to condition myself to ask for less, as my father is always complaining that he doesn't have any money. I used to be a greedy, selfish bastard in my younger years, and I've tried to distance myself from that, too. Thousand-dollar watches don't help.

Some other things I got for my birthday:

- A signed and messaged model card from Elli, the highest paid model in Germany, with whom I danced in London in December. It was dated June 18th, but it seemed like a birthday present anyway. I got it via Adam in London, then to Adam's law company's NY office, then overnighted to my home. Nice misuse of corporate resources, Adam!

- American Bar by (who else!) a German, Charles Schumann. It features 500 drink recipies, extensive histories of different liquors, and bartending tips. The instruction kind, not the money kind. Plus, it's leather-bound and classy like that. I got it from a family friend.

- Journey Through Heartsongs by Mattie J.T. Stepanek, a child with mitochondrial myopathy (a rare form of muscular dystrophy, and quite a serious illness) who writes inspirational poetry. Meh. The inspiration for me in this story is that if a child with a degenerative disease can sell millions of copies of his poetry books (this one is his second of four), then maybe there's hope for me, too. Received in the mail from my aunt in California, along with a check.

- A journal to go with my pen, the Memento Limited Edition DVD, a 4-pack of Beamish Irish Stout pints, a Best Buy gift certificate, and a suggestive card, all from my friends Patrick and Tammy.

- A EB gift certificate from my roommate, Mark. He's the best, cause he knows EB really stands for "Excellent Boutique".

- Checks from multiple people (including those already mentioned), adding up to $150!

- Best Buy gift certificates from multiple people (including those already mentioned), adding up to $170!

- A phone call from Christine. I would be lying if I said it didn't make my day.

Wow, linking to things with titles in the a tag is fun!
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So, last night I went to this They Might Be Giants 20th Anniversary concert at the Central Park SummerStage. It was the third time I'd been to the city in six days (once for Shakespeare in the Park's Twelfth Night with Julia Stiles et al on Saturday, again for Hairspray on Monday night, and last night). The opening band bordered on vomit-inducing horrible (most notably the Moldy Peaches... yuck!), but the Johns with their "Band of Dans" were excellent as usual. Great show, and for free too!
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As an anime fan, I find the Anime Title Generator quite amusing. It's funny cause it's true. I've spent more time than I care to disclose at this site, constantly punching the button in hopes that I will indeed strike it big, and develop the perfect name for the next anime hit series. Here are a few of my better ones:

Fire Fighter Collector
Bizarre Sonnet
Wonder Maid
Robo Devil Boy
Virgin Elves
Hell Lord Teacher Breeders

Right, you get the picture.

Before I run out, I just want to add that I saw the new Broadway-musical-based-off-the-movie Hairspray in previews last night, and that it was probably the most energetic show I've ever seen. If any people actually read this blog, live near Manhattan, and have the financial and practical means to see this show, then those people (if they exist) should see it as soon as possible.

So, it turns out that my friends are not actually available for the carousing tonight. "Oh well... okay." -Elliott Smith. But I'm not going to let it get me down. In fact, I'll be going out to get a drink soon anyway. Alone, but unafraid.

Well, it's three hours to my birthday, and the time is certainly winding down quickly. I'm about to go out to dinner, and after that I'm doing the drinking thing with my friends.

I finally convinced my parents that the Mont Blanc was more than enough present for me, even resisting the temptation of their option to buy me both that and the Tag. Hopefully. I mean, it is altogether possible that they have bought me the watch as a surprise even though I've told them not to. And while I do like the watch, especially the prospect of one whose battery would never expire, I have to be realistic. I do not need an expensive watch, or an expensive pen for that matter, to become 21, to feel 21, or to remember my 21st birthday. That said, the watch was pretty cool on my wrist.

So, I saw Signs last night, and it was very cool, very Hitchcockian and whatnot. Also very funny. I was impressed with M. Night Shyamamalalalamalan's ability to do the whole really-intense-scene-followed-by-a-tension-releasing-humorous-moment thing. After his last one ("Unbearable" or something like that, ::wink::), and his quote about how he is the lord of movies because he knows the perfect formula, I wasn't too hot on seeing this one. But I really enjoyed it. Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, even the Culkin kid and the little girl, they were all quite good. I've been recommending to everyone else that they make sure not to read any in depth reviews of it, because the suspense really depends on it. And remember how The Sixth Sense only had intense suspense in the middle section of the film? Yeah, so this one is intense from beginning to end. Credits to credits. No joke. Everyone should see this, especially Sixth Sense fans.

I just read in IMDb news that evidently Sarah Michelle Gellar will be leaving Buffy: tVS, just as I've gotten myself into it. That really blows.

In other -- more important -- news, my 21st birthday is a week away. I'm saving up to buy myself some quality items, like a GameCube in time for the new Zelda game, and a portable DVD player (finally!).

My parents want to get me something "timely and timeless," so I suggested a Mont Blanc fountain pen. Not one of them cheesy cartridge ones either; I want one of the messy suck-action ones. Anyway, they explained that the phrase "timely and timeless" meant that they wanted to get me a watch. An expensive watch. And it looks like I have no choice in the matter, even though I already have three watches in the $150 range. Evidently, though, they're looking for one way more expensive. "One that's classy yet wearable daily, like mine," my dad suggested, as he pulled up his sleeve and flashed me a peek at the glimmering timepiece. "This was $1875, I think. Maybe we should get you a 'Tag.'" "What's a 'Tag?'" "A Tag Heurer is a classy watch."

So, I've been looking at this Tag Heurer website... They are indeed classy watches. I even found a few I like, including an automatic Kirium style and an automatic 2000 Classic style. They don't have the prices on the site, which is kind of scary. But I went to check them out on another site anyway. The 2000 Classic lists for $995 and the Kirium lists for $1,995. Um... I may want to stick with those "inexpensive" Mont Blancs.

Yay! I got Movable Type installed with little to no difficulty! I'm so very happy. Got my Blogger entries imported, and everything seems to be working nicely. Now I just need to make a template to make it fit with my current site.

So, I got my Blogger archives restored, but I'd already set events in motion to shake things up. I'm currently on a Win2k server... but all that will change within the next few days as I MIGRATE TO LINUX. I used to have 5mb of space... now, I'll have 30mb! Good lordy, what to do with all this new space?? How about installing the supposedly amazing blogging tool Movable Type? Sorry to all you Greymatter fans out there, but I'm trying the cooler-looking one first. I'll make with the Greymatter if I can't figure out how the heck to install this one. My new linux account will start off with Blogger, though. But soon my backend will live and die by my own hand, not by the virtual hands of a virtual server that is virtually useless.

=w=
More delays on this update, as I spent any free time today on AIM with my host's tech support. But, in a gesture of peace, I've posted a new cam shot that's just Weezer-ific.