In the category of "Had It Coming", we have a new lovely example: Sean Avery of the New York Rangers, antagonist, annoyance, and, now, spleen-laceratee.

I love spleens. More specifically, spleen injuries. Especially the ones that happen in movies or on TV. Let me explain. When a character gets into a near-fatal accident, but lives, writers need to make the injuries sound serious, but without having debilitating or well-known long-term effects. This allows them to ramp up short-term excitement, fear, and so on, and then just forget about everything later, unburdened by any continuing plot points. For example, a character will injure his back, become paralyzed temporarily, but then get back the use of his limbs, and make a "full recovery." Scary there for a second, but everything is ultimately okay. The full recovery is key. "He was in bad shape for a while, but it looks like he will be making a full recovery." Hooray!

But what if the writer wants to make it scarier, more exciting? Everybody's seen the bad accident and the full recovery, the Wile E. Coyote scene change, the unstoppable Terminator. Well maybe we can do something really nasty to the character, something that sounds like it could actually have long-term effects, but still not really mess her up if we want to do a sequel, if this is only the first season. I know, let's remove an organ! A lung? Can you image a one-lunged action star huffing after the bad guy? No, it'll have to be more inconsequential, something small, something that no one ever thinks about or knows what it does...

And so we arrive at the spleen. Everybody picks the spleen. It's practically a drinking game. "She's gonna be okay. She broke two ribs, and the doctors had to remove her spleen, but she's gonna be okay." Thank God!

Of course, the spleen isn't inconsequential, and people who need to have them removed end up with messed-up immune systems. I know this because I learned all about the spleen from watching a movie. Patriot Games. IRA-splinter-group baddies attack Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford) and his family, and his daughter (Thora Birch) ends up losing her spleen! Main IRA-splinter-group baddie Sean Miller (Sean Bean) calls Jack, and dishes out what must be the most ridiculous and amazing bad-guy taunt ever:

Sean Miller: How's the family, Ryan? Nearly lost 'em, didn't you? It's easy to get at them. You should look after your family better, you know? Are you there?
Jack Ryan: Yeah.
Sean: I understand your little girl's feeling better, eh? Lost her spleen though, eh? Pity, that. Make it a mighty tough on her to fight off infection, eh Jacky?
Jack: You sick son of a bitch!

[lifted from IMDb]

It sure will be tough, Sean. If it ever comes up again. Ever since I saw it, whenever I hear the word spleen, that's the first thing I think of, a terrorist in a thick Irish accent taunting Harrison Ford. So, Sean Avery: slainte!